Muka Samankah Aku?

I don't know, fated that or just by coincidence that my car always get clamped or fine and TODAY been towed to Depoh Tunda Segambut where the heck is the place i don't know and never heard of it before. Next time take note, to park by the road side please use a Mercedes or a BMW because you'll never be fine nor towed. Memang a crazy day, just went gymming tup tup kereta hilang? OMG kena curi ke, why la interested with my car ada beribu kereta there why mine. That was what struck in my head, hate the pencuri. Tak pasal-pasal famous already at the gym, tomorrow i'm seriously going to wear a mask dah la jatuh tangga. Bodoh gila, cis!

Is my muka is so associated with getting saman? I wonder too because i tend to get like saman here and there, being clamped in my own faculty or sometimes being fined at Klang town by Majlis Perbandaran Klang or by police traffic due to habits of using emergency lane during bad traffics. How about by DBKL? Haha, let this be the first and last. I'll park in the building already from now on, phobia aku.

A friend helped me to solve it since i can't tell my parents, just paid rm600 on Monday for my previous fine and today another rm205? That's almost a month allowance and i left rm200 balance that i used for this whole 4 weeks, gila adjusting seriously i looked like an orang kampung now in spending. Haihz, what a bad luck i have. Hopefully it's already finished and only good luck after this yea. Better start tomorrow, make me have a good luck during my exam. That would be nice, Insyallah. May the month of May i'm poket tebal again, haha kidding je.

Consultant and trainers at the gym semua worry about my car, they worry about itu cicak but not me? By the way who cares la, i just can't bare tomorrow where am i going to put my face. Gosh, someone please help me by giving a brilliant idea. Whatever, tomorrow i'll be under a trainer that is Abang Ibni. Jangan kasar okay i don't really like susah punya, slow and steady sudah.

Quite a surprise to know Universiti Malaya has corporate deal with Fitness First, lots of the mini tiny charges were being waived. From rm524 i only need to pay rm109 for joining fees, registration fees, free 2 sessions of body training worth rm149 and etc etc etc. Wow, for the first time i'm liking UM for this.

When we wanted to take a break i kind of didn't see my car from the 2nd floor, eh where is my car. My friend was afraid too, he thought i was joking. Then only we found out my VivaForever has been towed to Segambut. We took a cab there, to take the car nak geran lah pula. How would i know where Dad keeps it memang bukan i jaga la, ok gelabah already. Tanya and rayu they said the service book can be used, happy but rayuan to reduce the fine failed. First person i called was surely and not other is Feeq, he didn't answer the call. It's ok i guess you're busy, i only tried once but i actually broke down on the spot after the call. I calm down and think wisely again suddenly i remembered my lecturer, asked for her help and we managed to settle the whole stuff. 

Great right being independent without my parents help? Hehe, bangga ni. Ok la i want to have a sleep, too tired and i need to wake up at about 12 am to study for my tomorrow's paper. Good early night =)

Help me, Mama

Gosh, i'm such a pathetic loser on earth. True that i have a place in the society but how about people's heart, it's frustrating to see one by one of your friends being far from you : by distance, by activities, by commitments, by busyness, by personal matters, by every sorts of aspects la. I'm sorry Mom, your daughter needs you and Daddy now. I'm on my own you see, luckily you never leave me my dear blog.

N

I

C

E

Mom, can you register me under courses to fill my holidays please. I don't know how to tell you, i'm losing a few nice people that once fills my life. They're getting away one by one, but i didn't do anything Mom. It's the surroundings, not me. At one moment i thought why do i ever exist anyway, Mom is cruel to me though asyik suruh leave home and get a life outside. When i go don't call me back saying the house is empty boleh? Haha, nanti siapa juga yang melopong if not you. 

Soon on the 5th of May at 10am i've been scheduled for a minor surgery in my mouth, quite scary since i only see it during class but now i'll be the patient. No worries i'll just have swollen face for few days, hehe.

Today i've been called up by Fitness First just because of this seekor cicak yang suka mencicak. Konon "Cik Hamizah ialah seorang pelanggan bertuah" bla bla bla whatever. Tomorrow will be going to the gym at Manulife entah mana kat Help Uni there. Adoi i have a practical exam kot on Friday, ish.

OMG SHITE i have something to do tomorrow! Urgently! Duuh, wonder who can help me. Think Hamizah think, @#$%^ !

Inilah diriku

Aku duduk sendirian dikamarku,
menangis kesepian kernamu,
kau tinggalkan aku,
kau cari yg lain,
tergamakmu merobek hatiku.

Tapi setelah kau pegi aku
mendapat lebih baik darimu,
dia hargai aku,
dia sayangi aku
lebih daripadamu,
aku ingin kau tahu betapa ku gembira,
tidak lagi bersamamu,
namun pastinyar nanti kau akan sedari,
yang kau perlu cintaku,
yang kau perlu cintaku,
yang kau perlu cintaku….

200 km/h in the wrong lane

Where to start? Anything to discuss? I just can't do it, i don't know why too. I just feel lost, am i on the planet Earth right now? If not then where am i, i lost track.

I've been blank for this few days, don't know who that i can say hi and who i can't or maybe who i can text just for fun and who i shouldn't. I just don't know anymore.

" My mother told me not to talk to strangers, I don't talk to myself anymore "

I just can't feel the atmosphere i'm in, i can't see anything that make sense anymore thus making me numb. Nerveless and soulless, a combination as though i'm a corpse. Yeah i am one of them, only left i'm not lifeless and heartless.

Blah, with headache and gastric. A seriously damaged mood that is untreatable tonight unless the right person console me, how i wish. Dream on Hamizah, don't daydream of something that's impossible. Wake up and walk on, g-r-o-w. G-R-O-W-W-W !!

eyes that can't hide although she tried hard to fake a smile

Randomnians

3.59 pm sitting in my parent's room watching tv while writing this because my niece and nephew having their agama tuition downstairs, so bored at home on a Thursday without any plan nor $$$. Haha daddy is just super smart that he knows forbidding me from going out doesn't work but by not giving my weekly allowance it takes effect immediately!

Anyway begged daddy for money to fulfill my craves for sushi and tomyam tomorrow at Flying Chilis, hehe macam orang pregnant lah but i'm not ok. I do crave for tomyam almost every 2 to 3 days once, shouldn't call it crave la better say favourite or obsessed. Oh ya i'll be going to Genting Highlands with my besties to study there and do some stuff on Saturday, secret shhh~

OMG party in Bali is seriously a dream come true that the plan is almost complete, only left to click a button for booking. 17th to 20th of September 2010, all three of them will be graduating and i'll always be the baby that finishes last in everything.

Congrats to Furzanne Yeo I-vy, Erina Lim Guat Mooi and Leow Khai Li. You guys are the greatest friends ever!

Rehab!

With some rationale in mind i'm admitting that last night i was overwhelmed with those emo-ing stuff that i slipped off tongue and wrote the previous post. Sorry, i shall say it's my PMS? Lol, laugh over it i'm ok today. Haha

Trying to be independent without laptop, no calls or sms and also not chatting. I managed! Proudly announcing, due to excessive boredom i've created a new application called Tumblr. I've not known what is it about, why not give a try. 

http://hamizah-gh.tumblr.com

Rehab day, did some cleaning of my room with a whole new look after some reposition done. I'm sleepy but i don't feel like sleeping, so just stay awake. Updated my online shop blog, anything more to fill up my super free time?

I Realize

Lately too many things changed, keep changing and will change soon. How phobic i am to this word, "CHANGE" because it's been miserably making me restless due to some reasons.

C

H

A

N

G

E

Not a single letter that repeats, every letter CHANGES.

Who am i? I wish to ask this to everybody, don't i mean a thing to someone at least?

Family

Friends

Society

All neglecting me!

I know i'm not important to any, always i'm the one who finds people that it makes me looked CLINGY padahal i'm not. I just want to be surrounded, not to say clingy but once i feel you guys are near i don't tend to talk to you all the time. For God sake, understand me people.

To Mama & Baba, i guess i'll take your offer to be independent next year and stay outside with the given RM20k. Don't be shocked that i'll be leaving home a year from now, you asked for it. You have been always shuh-ing me out, asked me to be like other students staying in hostel and not manja-ing at home. I've been tolerating it for 4 years and now not anymore, i'm keeping it in my heart this time.

To my friends, i'll be as quiet as possible and only reply when being find me. I will try to be on my own, i can do it. Hopefully, i know it's been a bad thing to know me for some people. I know, just don't deny to jaga hati. Not a need, be frank.

To the society, too bad that i don't need people in my life now because i can survive. I don't live for someone nor something, i bet nothing disturbs right?

I realize things changed, although i hate it so soo sooo much but i have to accept the fact that it happens. Every single thing in this world change, how can i expect for more like things don't change just for me.

WHO AM I?

I'm a nobody in a Nothingland. I just realize it.

Independence

Independent.

What does this mean? My Collin's Birmingham University International Language Database dictionary says, "if someone is independent, they are free to live as they want, because they do not need help and have no obligations to anyone". Okay, sounded scary though.

People said i'm a spoil brat, the question is am i? Some would answer yes, practically most of you do. Haha, nevermind. 

Change topic!

I am learning to be independent, not depending on anyone or anything. Mulalah nak rasa terkapai-kapai, nyanyi lagu "Drowning" by BSB. Sooner or later i'll get used to it, nothing remains forever right. Basically, we only can appreciate.

Truthfully, every year during my finals around this time there's someone with me unlike this year. I'm alone, it makes me feel left out from the world. This is when i tend to remember my memories during my 1st and 2nd year, although bitter facts revealed but it's not a harm to remember some part of it as long as i'm not brought away by it. Hehe

Everybody is busy, who wants to go karaoke with me next week? I have a voucher free head charge expiring end of this month, would love to ask Feeq but i'm afraid i'll disturb him and his work. It's ok, giving away the voucher would be better. AIMAN! Why are u ain't here, i need screamo songs since my stress level dah paras nak cabut rambut sampai botak lah. Come home quick, sobs.

Tiba-tiba i lupa apa mahu tulis, whatever it is i've launched my online store on the 1st of April so do visit yeah. Here's the link, variety of hairclips.

http://herkelip.blogspot.com

APRIL FOOL! I made myself a fool, chose that date since it's not a big deal to be a fool on that particular day. I made a confession to the world, but i don't know whether the specific person notice it or not. I wonder too, biarlah since he has nothing to do with me anymore. I'm moving on, yeah! Again i know, berapa kali nak move on pun i don't know. Tiring la like this, very tired of recovery phase. I can do it!

Any more stories that i left out? Nothing dah kot, by the way my forgetful habit is getting worse now. Adoi, very bad. Sleepy already *yawn yawn* Goodnight, see you!

Neutralism

Being in the middle is always the best, not too much but not too little.

NEUTRAL

It's difficult to do so, bla bla bla i don't know what i'm talking about.

Dear Hamizah's mom,

Your daughter had lost her screw of her brain, please send her to be fixed at the Sony Style. The screw consists of PSP-go, PS3 and Wii. Then she'll be in total good health, she had been out of her mind saying that she hasn't get any device in 2010. Hope you're concern about your daughter, thank you.


Truthfully,
psycho doctor!

Oh ya, did i do a mistake if i say i want to stop studying? I told that to mom and she was stunned, giving me a broken-glass look. What did i do, i'm just telling what i want. Okay you're upset hearing that, but you know this isn't me although i've liked what i am doing right now. 

 Exam! Exam! Finals!

I don't know where to start, which topic to highlight on. Bother la, i'll study everything and be a smart elect. Good idea right? Can't wait for my two months holiday, thought of going to Singapore to do some shopping and check out for my iPad and Macbook Pro since i didn't plan any trip with anyone. See how it goes, my cousin will be going to Jakarta and Bandung so i may tag along. Unsure unsure!

To Furzanne, Khaili & Erina.

When are we meeting up? Jom badminton and swimming, it's been a while we didn't go Tropicana. Good luck in your exams Fuzzy, happy being on Europe trip Erina, happy studying for your exams too Khaili. Reunion coming soon, yeah!

Lastly, wish me lots of luck okay people. I will need it, lots and lots of them. I want to continue snacking, tata~