29th May 2010

"I think sometimes you have to lose someone completely before you can figure out what they really mean to you."

- Dawsons Creek

Loved

You and I
And it’s okay if you have go away
Oh just remember the telephone works both ways
And if I never ever hear them ring
If nothing else I’ll think the bells inside
Have finally found you someone else and that’s okay
Cause I’ll remember everything you sang.





If It Kills Me
If I should be so bold
I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand
Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man
But I never said I would
I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again




Wordplay
I built a bridge across the stream my consciousness
It always seems to be a flowin'
But I don't know which way my brain is goin'
Oh the ryhmin' and the timin'
Keeps the melodies inside me
And they're comin'
Till I'm running out of air
Are you prepared to take a dive into the deep end of my head
Are you listening to a single word I've said





Try Try Try
Sometimes we do forget to behave
And we regret what we say
Cause words are too weapons
If we don't choose'em carefully
Ladies and gentlemen this is instrumental
If life's to be a bed of roses




The Heart Never Lies
Some people fight,and some people fall
Others pretend, they dont care at all
If you wanna fight, i'll stand right beside you
The day that you fall, i'll be right behind you
To pick up the pieces





Lonely
And I remember you told me baby
Somethings gotta give
If I cant be the one to hold you baby
I dont think I could live
Now Im so sick of being lonely
This is killing me so so slowly
Dont pretend that you dont know me
'Cause thats the worst thing you could do!





Point of View
I never wanted everything to end this way,
But you can take the bluest sky and turn it grey.
I swore to you that I would do my best to change,
But you said it don't matter,
I'm looking at you from another point of view.





What Do You Want From Me
Just don't give up
I'm workin it out
Please don't give in,
I won't let you down
It messed me up
Need a second to breathe.





Putus
tapi setelah kau pegi aku
mendapat lebih baik drmu,
dia hargai aku,
dia sygi aku
lebih drpdmu,
aku ingin kau tahu betapa ku gembira,
tidak lg bersamamu.





Kebahagiaan dalam Perpisahan
Embun pun takkan mampu menyubur sekuntum
Bunga yang layu pada musim luruh
Yang dulunya mekar di sinar suria
Bila sudah kering pasti akan gugur

=.=

Finally i managed to find time after gyming and went to i-City by the Federal Highway, amazed for a moment when i was there. So lame when it is so near to my house but i'm the latest person being there, lots of UM-ians had visited there. Finally, i'm there too. You guys just don't know how much i love lights, fireworks, and any colorful things. I only captured photos of the lights, non of me in it. My photos are in Aime's camera, cepat lah upload i nak kidnap my photos ni. So lambat although you're already back in Kedah, cett~

the trees of lights, pretty aren't they?

practising depth of field :)

Nak tak nak i have to meet few friends, it's been weeks since i met them including my cousin. I went gyming with my cousin together with a movie "A Nightmare on Elm's Street" that evening and supper at Mamak. Next was last night i met Urosha, an adorable sweet friend you'll never find elsewhere. Did some updating but nothing much on my side haha, followed by a midnight movie "The Bounty Hunter" at the cinema behind my house. Sorry couldn't take photo with you since i'm in my pyjamas, a good reason ok :p

Hamizah & Humaira

Today after so long i met up with Zahidah but without Capak, i miss her loads. She thought she can meet a friend there but i said i don't want to be the centre person contacting, if she wants she call herself. End up she didn't get to meet him, told her but she refused to listen. We spend whole day in Mid Valley, movie again "Letter to Juliet". Such a romantic movie, a story about a woman who tries to find her first love after 50 years at Verona. It's wonderful but i wonder does true love ever exist in reality? There's always some definition behind a relationship either materialistic or tumpang famous and whatsoever, not all but hardly we find a sincerely loving couple who loves each other as what they are. 

<3 you, see you on Friday

I suggest to you people outside watch it, then take the spirit from this movie that is not to give up in finding the right person. There's another one too, a movie entitled "Dear John" that was only release in the USA. A story from the writer Nicholas Sparks, awesome!

Lately i love watching movies especially the sad ones, i'll pause it in the middle and cry then play it again. I know i sounded silly at least better than crying for no reason, haha ignore that part. I get an invitation for Zouk this Thursday night, i haven't decide on this but more to a NO. Not in the mood yet, my 8 weeks are not done yet. What i've said, i really mean it. Everything depends on my mood so be prepared :)

Is Friday a public holiday? I heard people saying but i didn't check my planner, a Wesak Day it seems. Zahidah and me planned for a movie again, "Prince of Persia" this time. Erm i guess of going to The Curve this time, can get my cupcakes frm Cupcake Chic. Weee~

Alone

Now is the time where fakers leave and only true ones remain. I guess this is the most hurtful period ever for me, to know all this while you're surrounded by fakers who is only using you for their own benefits.

I know i'm just stupid for being such an idiot letting them to use me, when i arise and begin to be wise i saw them left because i can't be used anymore. I'm already smart! To my surprise it's like those whom i thought were good to me ain't that sincere after all, IT IS painful. As we always know, "Truths are bitter, lies are sweet" right?

More fakers than loyals? OMG what is happening to the world, why do this kind of human ever exist if they just live to hurt others. I never think bad of you, i never believe when people badmouth about you either unless i hear it from you yourself. I waited for you to come back but you avoided me as though i know your secrets, i still forgive because there's nothing more that annoys a loser babe. I'm done, it's time to let go. I've always been the the victim, the one who is not involved but always been affected badly.

For your information, i'm not insensitive but i'm just living on memories. Photos of us are my only booster for me to carry on with my life, the only charger for me. I don't have them anymore like i used to, find it out then you'll know i don't have them anymore. I only talk on memories, just plainly memories.

No more.

They're gone.

I lost them.

I'm alone.

I ALREADY LOST THEM!

For God sake why can't you see i don't have them anymore!

Feelings

Smile
It makes a world of difference.




Dance
Who knows when you won't be able to.




Cry
Holding those emotions in is bad for you.




Kiss
Kisses are the most wonderful things in the world.




Laugh
What's the point in hiding happiness?




Frown
Why not let him know you're unhappy?




Apologize
You don't want to lose friends.




Hug
There's no better feeling being wrapped up close to someone you love.




Live
Because life is everything.

You saved me

I know it's been a while since we last met that was on the 12th of April for a karaoke at The Curve. I do miss you, badly. Only by keeping in touch through text messages or Yahoo Messenger, with all the exams and grounding session finally i get to see you today. Thanks Feeq! I'm happy :)

There are tonnes of things i need to update you, after hibernation and depression. I guess i'm not ready to update you, soon i'll be back. I'm feeling better, you kind of saved me today from *secret*. Haha

We'll hang out together soon k, i miss you loads bestie. You're one of my bestest friend besides Aiman, wink! See you soon, take care always.

Hibernation

I'm done with my exams, currently on my semester break since i passed all without any viva border line interviews. Alhamdulillah, an awesome experience for the first time. I will be entering my new semester for my 4th year on the 10th of July. That's all about study life!

Sorry to my friends because i didn't make an effort to meet all of you, by the way i'm not meeting anybody for the moment. It's been like 7 weeks already since my study week started? Just wait, the time will come.

My routine now is only going to the gym daily, working out like nobody's business. No more having lunch or dinner outside, no rice for already 2 weeks. Any changes? Surprise, haha.

6-7 more weeks of holidays, what to do? Nothing that i can think of, in this pennyless condition made me felt so left out out of a sudden. Gyming je lah kan senang!

First activity on last Saturday, photoshoot at an abandoned house in Ampang with Qim and Joey. A little bit scary but a new experience for me, kerja aku pegang reflector la. Pity me, lol. Slept over at my doctor's house for two nights, having our days together to the max! I attended a dinner at Summit Hotel accompanying her, for a tudung brand "Nu Nuh International" so i have to dress like a muslimah. I look sweet no matter what i wear ok, perasan sekejap. 

Qim, me & Joey

>.<

I can't really sleep at her house, i don't have my bantal busuk with me. First night i slept from 5am to 8am and 620am to 9am on the second night, kesian i kan. So i terus take a nap right after reaching home at about 12pm after having my breaksfast, my nephew woke me up at 330pm asking me to go to the gym. He's getting smarter and smarter day by day, seriously he's following my footsteps. A born intelligent baby, hehe.

I had a dream during my nap, maybe it's because i think so hard that it is brought into my dreams. A sad one, it's about a dinner which i said i'm leaving. I really hope the specific someone will be same like others asking me to stay but i only get and answer of "Oh ok." from this person. How disappointed, erm i changed my mine la. I don't feel like storying further about it, let's just drop it. Hmm, i'm kind of tired now. Good night humans! 

How can i put these into words

How should i put this into words, i wish i wouldn't hurt anyone. I guess it's time to say it rather than keeping it all alone, i'm so sorry. 

I don't want to meet anyone right now.


I don't want to hangout like i used to do.


I want the whole 8 weeks all by myself.


I'm on a mission so no more shopping or wasting money unnecessarily.


I'm so not me anymore without few important people in my life.


I won't answer calls or reply messages if i don't feel like doing so.

How else should i say, just leave me alone. I'll talk if i want, i'll go out whenever i wish and i'll meet whoever i feel like meeting. Don't force me please, don't ever ask why. I tend to get bored with life, i'm fed up of it. So sorry guys, i need time.

I'll be done with everything by the 14th of May, by then don't find me. I'm begging please, don't find me. Give me space, things aren't so perfect right now as it used to be. I want quality time with family now, i wish for it. Please, just once~

I Like ... but I Hate ...

Previously i used to like the name Jasmine, but now i like the the word Pelangi. Out of nowhere, it struck my mind. A bit of a sudden, i have no idea too. 

Now i don't wish for more friends, instead i just want to sustain who i have. All of them are the perfect-est species on earth meant to be with me, perasan lebih but it's true. I don't care, i want them and only them.

I hate those who just come and go for no reason, irritating and annoying. Get out of my way, i treasure those who are true to me.

O M G !

I'm pretty shocked to see this, does the whole world knows about it? I wonder, even Facebook is asking me this question. Hahaha

Look at the question : If Adrian Ng set their status to "in relationship" with you, how would you react?

Mati hidup semula takkan jawab la, LOL.