I am a spoilt brat and the most lovable in the family, Daddy's favourite but unfortunately not Mummy's. I am brought up in a family that is kind of perfect and I am grateful, Alhamdulillah. To some people this is a good fate and luck, to some people this creates envy and to some people it made them competitive. I am blessed with what I have, had and will have Insya Allah.
From young I got everything that I wanted, even until today. Yes people do say all this is because I still have Mummy and Daddy, so what? Does this mean I cannot get it if I struggle and strive to get it by myself? I don't know what are people thinking, want to say that I am taking advantage of my own parents? Any parents in this world will want to fulfill their children's wish and dream as much as they can! Only the differences are the capability, no offence.
Whatever it is, now I am trying to understand about life. Those days weren't life, they were introduction especially during the study days. The real life begins when you start working where you cannot control anybody, yes I admit I feel pissed when I cannot make 100 percent as what I want. At least I tried to make it 70 percent at least?
Before this, I always have the belief that I do not want to be a doctor because in movies that I watched there will surely be a storyline where a family who have a doctor will have another family member suffering from cancer. Disappointingly it happened in real life, I hate the rules so much! Is it a rule or fate as such? I would rather work as an average worker but everything else is just nice and smooth, what is the purpose being high level but then my heart ain't that calm.
Mummy was diagnosed having cancer in November 2012, undergone surgery the month after. But the side effect was much beyond the extend, I was speechless seriously. It's ok I'm glad now that I finished studying and have the strength to help Mummy in whichever aspect. Mummy, please be strong. I know you are strong, be strong like you always scolded me. I willing to be scolded if by scloding me can make you be strong, I don't mind.
"Ya Allah, sembuhkan Mama dan panjangkan umur Mama. Berikanlah Mama kesempatan untuk melihat anak bongsunya kahwin dan mempunyai cucu, berjaya dalam kerjayanya dan sambung belajar. Aamin"
I would say all this while until the day I started working, I never knew the meaning of life. I used to control everything, I always think I have the power to make people bow to me, I was a bad person before. Now I wanted to change by being a good and a bigger person in life, I can do it! If there is nobody with me, I know Allah is always with me no matter what. Best friends might come and go as well, not to mention if just friends especially friends for benefits. They are the first to leave you when you are down.
Kenapa emo masa lunch time hari ni? Haha :) Someone teached me to be humble, an average person who has a big heart. I learnt alot from this particular person, about Mummy. This person always support me whenever I feel I reached the limit and I can't go further but his words really make me still standing although I think I can't, he believed in me. Please don't let me go, I want you to be with me all the time.
"Mucuk, jangan mengalah. Mama u perlukan u. I ada sini bersama macam Nobita yang sentiasa bersama Doraemon."
His experiences were worst than me so he knew how I felt, a part of it. God sends messengers to help His people when they are in trouble, to guide and not make them fall. I found one, thank you Allah. Now I will keep on living with good values in life, trying to improve day by day and be a proper Muslim one day Insya Allah. I will try!
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